A writing lesson

A story I wrote was recently accepted for one of the Chicken Soup books, and while gratifying, the real 'meat' of this experience was what I learned about writing. 

I wrote this story a number of years ago, had it rejected by a magazine, and filed it away.  When I began to reconsider it for the CS book, I saw that it needed major rework on many fronts.  It was 500 words too long for their needs.  I was guilty of two major no-no's in writing:  writing passively instead of actively (too many "was's"--I had six in one paragraph!), and telling instead of showing.

But the real problem showed up when I faced the daunting task of cutting 500 words.  That's a whole page of typewritten material, double-spaced.  And since this was a true, personal story, I just couldn't see what I could cut without damaging the flow and interest of the story.

So I went to work with some experimental slicing and dicing.  What gradually became apparent was a more subtle problem inexperienced writers have, that of having too much 'stuff' in the story that distracts from the main point.  It could be other sub-stories, rabbit-trail descriptions, or events that don't really add to the story.

I had to ask myself, what story am I really trying to tell here?  When I answered that question, I saw that two other incidents I had included could be taken out without impacting the story.  In fact, by doing that and tightening up some of the "and then I's...", it gave a much greater dramatic punch to the actual story I was trying to tell.  And 500 words thankfully disappeared.

Simplicity.

That's the key word here.  Tell one thing in one story.  Enlarge upon it, enrich the descriptions and word use, add some metaphors and similies, using vivid verbs, and you have a compelling read.  If you're a word-lover, it's hard to submit to the maxim, "less is more," but in this case it's true.

My dad is a landscape painter by profession, and he has preached this for years.  "Simplicity!"  He taught me early on that a really good painting is not one that has every jot and tittle of detail (we have cameras for that), but rather simple strokes in bold colors, clean composition balance, and focus on one main thing.  Funny how that parallels writing--and life.

Well, it was a terrific experience and one that will make me a better writer, hopefully. 

Simplicity!

A writer's checklist

In working on the third rewrite for a homeschooling article this past week, I learned (or re-learned!) an important lesson, one that I'm going to make sure I teach my daughter...that of really organizing your thoughts before you begin writing.

Sounds pretty elementary, I know.  Most language arts or writing programs we use in the homeschooling community teach this.  But I've seen again in my own writing that while you may think you know where you're going with a piece, you can quickly find yourself in a mucky swamp of words, not sure where you're headed or how to get out of the mud.

So I'm going to use a master checklist something like this from now on, both for myself and for my daughter's assignments.  I want to make sure this analysis will include both pre-writing and post-writing editing.

1.  In a sentence or two, state clearly what you are trying to communicate to the reader.  (A "nutgraph" for your writers out there.)  Narrow it down as far as possible.

2.  Describe who your audience is--who you're trying to influence or persuade.  Then talk to them.

3.  What will your tone be?  Playful?  Serious? 

4.  What point of view will you be writing from?

5.  What format will you use for this piece--an essay?  A story?

6.  What anecdotes, quotes, and references will you use?

7.  How long will your piece be? 

8.  Have you done an outline?  Include intro/hook (what type), all sub-topics, conclusion.

Writing books will tell you that the real craft of writing happens in the editing phase after your first draft.  I wish it weren't true but it is.  Rarely--if ever--will you come up with something really stellar the first time around.  This is the hard part with kids; they don't want to work and rework their words.

So when your final draft is ready, it's good to sit on it for a couple of days.  Then go through and check:

1.  Did you promise something in the intro that you didn't deliver on?

2.  Have you used smooth transitions to lead the reader from one thought to the next?

3.  Can you change any passive verbs ("was") to active ones?

4.  Have you used colorful, sensory descriptions?  Metaphors?

5.  Reread each paragraph carefully.  Does it follow the topic sentence/supporting sentences format?  Does anything need to be put elsewhere or in a new paragraph?

6.  Did you show us, not tell us?

7.  Have you done a grammar and spelling check on the piece?

8.  Do any of your facts need to be double-checked?

9.  Have you had another pair of eyes read it for an objective view and input?

I'm sure there's more but these are some key things I have to walk myself through in my writing.  It's hard to keep all this in mind at once!  But I think it will come easier with practice, as with most things.