Time to evaluate

I'm enjoying a breather of a few days to catch up after a busy, busy May...and before a busy, busy June.  Next week is our church's Vacation Bible School, then a homeschool conference, and a couple of weeks with our families.  It's been wonderful to get my house clean, take time to cook appealing meals, have more time in the Word, and watch the grass grow.

As a homeschool mom, though, it's hard to put aside thoughts and plans for the coming year.  I no sooner finish one year than I'm prayerfully planning studies and schedules for the next.  And while I would truly love a mental break from it all, I'm grabbing the chance to analyze what worked and what didn't for us.

I ended this year feeling particularly drained and overdone, out of touch with myself and our home life.  Some of the outside commitments I made took more planning and execution than I anticipated.  We had to adjust our curriculum and scheduling a number of times.  Various deadlines kept me forging ahead, and I never seemed to have my week planned well for anything.  This was a year that SweetPea and I needed to do a lot of talking and processing to help her work through life.  Family health issues took their toll on our daily life, and I just lost my motivation to "get out there and get 'er done."  To say it simply, I ran out of gas.

So in looking ahead, I'm making some decisions.  I've only got a couple of years left in our homeschool journey and I want them to be good ones.  I realize that I can't control what life brings, but with the choices I do have, I want to make sure that they're well thought-out.  I've been guilty of taking on too many outside activities, some in the name of giving my daughter a well-rounded education or neat opportunities, or pitching in to run programs and events.  Both SweetPea and I have felt the inner exhaustion of not enough break time to synthesize, savor, and appreciate the full value of our experiences.  More isn't always better.

Gratefully, she and I are of the same mind.  We're going to have more of a 'home' focus (you know, the first part of the word 'homeschool'!) and leave room for the relationships and activities the Lord would have for us.  We're already feeling a gleeful sense of relief at the prospect.  I'm going to work on four things...

Peacefulness.  (Focus on following the Lord's lead and be guided by His peace.)

Intentionality.  (Think it through before I do--whatever!)

Ownership.  (Keep the control I properly should have for our time, activities, energy, and goals.)

Margin.  (Keep some space for fun and rest and spontaneity!)

And to start our summer off on the right foot, tomorrow we're intentionally and peacefully going to enjoy some margin at a lake with some dear friends!

Urban adventure

Cute, huh?  I mean, what an irresistible little face and appealing expression.

Yeah...except when you've got one down your chimney!

Hubby was up on the roof this morning after breakfast with a flashlight to see if he could determine what was trapped in our chimney.  We'd heard little squeaks and noises last night in the fireplace behind the insert, but couldn't do anything about it--and we thought it was a bird or a squirrel.  But a raccoon?!  Groan.  And it wasn't little.

He hung a rope down the length of the chimney (two stories high) and called animal control.  Believe it or not, they said these critters don't generally fall down chimneys, they hide out deliberately and can get out just fine.  But just in case they don't, drop an ammonia-soaked rag down there and they'll hustle up and out pretty quick.

Knowing they're nocturnal, we decided to wait until this evening.  SweetPea accompanied her dad up on the roof (homeschooler field trip, you know) to see if the cute little thing was still there.  Yup, it was.  So to force the issue, the dad poured some ammonia down one side, insuring a healthy dose of noxious fumes to get the job done.

That's when he saw...

...babies!

Double groan!  She sure enough had a Purpose for hiding out in our fireplace. (Photos not mine but you get the idea.) 

Hubby feels bad about the ammonia...but maybe it'll expedite matters.  Hopefully, Mama will find it too inhospitable and move her family quickly to better digs.  And I really hope it was intentional on her part to get down our chimney, because if not, then I'll be writing part two of this adventure. Enough is enough!

In which I lose a friend

I was having "one of those days" this week, when a stack of bowls slipped out of my hands, sending my Most Special Bowl crashing to the floor--with this result. Did you know you can cry over the demise of an inanimate object?

Bowl and I have had a long and very special relationship.  Twenty-five years ago I spotted this lovely in an antique store and immediately had visions of perfect bread loaves I would knead to perfection in it.  At $15, it was a bargain and thus began our memorable history together.

At the time, I was working at a "dude" ranch in Colorado as the back-up cook.  My job was baking all the cookies, cakes, pies, desserts, and breads for our mouth-watering daily menus.   Bowl was my constant companion, providing just the right size and temperature for high-altitude bread rising and lending me an primal sense of homestead-woman as I pushed and punched the springy dough.  It's large size, the thick, cool crockery and heavy feel stood up well to the demands I put on it.  When my Mom gave me some 45-year-old sourdough starter (yes, really!) and instructions on the finer points of working with sourdough (not the least of which is that you should never use a metal bowl or spoon), Bowl and I produced stellar dinner rolls and flapjacks.  M-m-m, makes my mouth water just to remember...

Then came marriage, and a chief item in my hope-chest was Bowl.  I pressed on in the discoveries of whole-grain baking, gluten-free bread dough, and large batches of cookies for years of various children's events.  And of late, having learned about the nutritional benefits of soaking grains, Bowl has produced weekly batches of granola and homemade grape-nuts, sitting ornamentally on my kitchen counter and greeting me first thing in the morning with the promise of yummy healthiness.   

I am bereft.  However, knowing that my treasures don't lie in earthly things, I must content myself with this little epitaph, and--of course--be on the hunt for Bowl Two.

Q & A

People everywhere are struggling, some massively. Pain assaults us on every level—rejection, loss, sorrow, guilt, physical issues, heartbreak, failure, financial crises, hurt, disappointment, shattered dreams, tragedy—the complexity of life's issues sap our strength and joy; questions for which there seem to be no answers leave us in a haunting despair. And if that's not enough, the “what-if's” awaiting us about tomorrow leave us frightened and frantic. Depending on our personality, we deal with this stuff differently: push it down out of sight and hide it under a smile; express it in violence; turn to various addictions; call it something else and pretend it doesn't exist; or lash out in blame.

I've drunk from the cup of each of these hurts sometime in my life. Probably most of us have. I thought I would never recover from some of them. But I can truthfully say that even though I don't have answers for some of the more heart-lacerating imponderables of this life, I have peace.

Do you?

I am a Christian, have been most of my life. That fact has not sheltered me from deep and soul-searching troubles, nor do I sit in an ivory tower hiding behind what I sure-hope-is-true-because-if-it-isn't-I'm-in-trouble denial. The tragic and untimely deaths of two precious souls in my life this year have brought me back once again to face one of the stark realities of this life. I ache at their losses, grieve for their families.

But the bottom line for me is this: I believe what the God of the universe has revealed about Himself—He is good, He is always good, and He is worthy of my trust. Period. Just because I don't understand everything about how things work in the unseen, doesn't mean I should reduce and define Him by that. He requires faith to walk with Him, not understanding.

It sure isn't easy. But I wouldn't respect a God who treated me like a puppet, programming me and filling me with a party line that would assure my loyalty and obedience. Instead, without apology, He invites me to know Him on His terms, which may or may not give me the answers I want right now. I can accept or reject that invitation, with all its accompanying implications. I accepted that invitation—and have found that truly, He is all that He claims to be and more. I can't imagine life without His love and protection and healing. It's real.

Perhaps you serve a different god. Or maybe you're angry at the God of the Bible and feel He has failed you. Maybe you think He's the cause of all the bad things in your life and the world, the great sword-holder waiting to cut you down with the next blow. But what if He isn't?

If you're desperate, I invite you to be honest and consider these questions, with a humble heart and an open mind. What if He is all that He says He is? What do you have to lose?

~ Is your god good, really good? Mine is.

• “Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” James 1:17
• “The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I (Jesus) have come that they might have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

~ Does your god love you? Does he want you so much that he'll move heaven and earth to find you?  Mine does.

• “For God so loved the world (me, you) that He gave His only begotten Son (Jesus), that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” John 3:16
• “God is love. In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God sent His only begotten Son into the world that we might live through Him.” I John 4:9
• "I have loved you with an everlasting love."  Jeremiah 31:3

~ Does your god know all about your sins and failings – and love you anyway? Mine does.

• “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved.” John 3:17
• “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” I John 1:9

~ Does your god take care of you? Does he even know what you're going through? Does he heal your broken heart? Can he? Mine does.

• “...casting all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7
• “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up the wounds...His understanding is infinite.” Psalm 147:3, 5

~ Does your god explain how to live so that nothing can shake you? Mine does.

• “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct* your paths.” Proverbs 3:5, 6 (*direct means to make straight, right, and good)
• “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

I have come to love this God with every fiber of my being—because I've found Him to be life in my death-things and my brokenness.   He has changed me from a fearful, suspicious, grieving soul to a healed heart who has found wholeness in His love.

I pray you find Him the same. Truly, He is the Prince of Peace.

Jesus, Our Light - Day 12

The call to "walk in the light as He is in the light" (I John 1:7) is the invitation God has spoken to mankind since the beginning when He said "Let there be light" (Genesis 1:3).  It was never His plan to leave us in the devastation and darkness that sin caused--praise His Name!

He is building a kingdom of light-transformed people who love Him and will spend eternity with Him, enjoying Him and everything they were created for.  That little baby in Bethlehem was the Father's promise of perfect and restored life for us.

And the best is yet to come!  Listen to what Isaiah prophesied centuries before Christ came:

"The sun shall no longer be your light by day,

nor for brightness shall the moon give light to you;

But the Lord will be to you an everlasting light,

and your God your glory."

(Isaiah 60:19)

He was not only referring to Jesus being the Light of redemption, but also the Light of heaven.  Just as we see God commanding light to shine at the beginning of the Bible, at the end we see him declaring what our eternal home will be like after the end-times events.  The apostle John, in Revelation, describes the new, heavenly Jerusalem:

"The city had no need of the sun or of the moon to shine in it,

for the glory of God illuminated it.

The Lamb is its light.

And the nations of those who are saved

shall walk in its light...

There shall be no night there:

they need no lamp nor light of the sun, 

for the Lord God gives them light.

And they shall reign forever and ever."

(Revelation 21:23-24, 22:5)

Hallelujah!

Thank You, Jesus, for being willing to come and be our Light, for being our "promised mercy" when we could not help ourselves.  We can never thank You enough or praise You enough!  Help us to welcome Your Light today as freely as You have given it.

Merry Christmas!

Jesus, Our Light - Day 11

One of the hardest things for our human nature is to let the Light shine in our darkness.  Those deep inner places we don't want God to mess with.  Weakness, fear, bondage, things we loathe and things we like and don't want to give up.  Yet to enjoy all the promised goodness and freedom of God's love, we have let it be on His terms.

"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord.

Walk as children of light (for the fruit of the Spirit is in

all goodness, righteousness, and truth)...

And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness,

but rather expose them...

But all things that are exposed are made manifest by the light,

for whatever makes manifest is light.

Therefore He says: 'Awake, you who sleep, arise from the dead,

and Christ will give you light.'"

(Ephesians 5:8-14)

 The great gift of the Incarnation is that in accepting Christ's light, we are changed!  Daily set free from the damaging works of darkess.  There's nothing in the way now between us and God--unless we want it that way.  

My prayer today is that we all will have a fresh revelation this Christmas of the incredible work He came to do for us.  We are Light-bearers in this very dark world, and every word or deed is an opportunity to dispell darkness. 

"You are the light of the world.

A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden,

nor do they light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a lampstand,

and it gives light to all who are in the house.

Let your light so shine before men,

that they may see your good works

and glorify your Father in Heaven."

(Matthew 5:14-16)

Let the Light shine!

Jesus, Our Light - Day 10

Paul the apostle had a startling encounter one day with the Light.  In prison for preaching the gospel, he recounts the amazing story to the king, hoping to persuade him to see his need for Jesus.

On his way to arrest Jewish Christians in Damascus for heresy, Paul reports, "At midday, O king, along the road I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, shining around me" (Acts 26:13).  He falls to the ground, blinded, and hears Jesus Himself speaking to him, charging him with the mission to preach salvation to the Gentiles:

"...to open their eyes, in order to turn them from darkness to light,

and from the power of Satan to God,

that they may receive forgiveness of sins and 

an inheritance among those who are

sanctified by faith in Me."

(Acts 26:18)

Here's that wonderful symbolism again--Paul, who thought he knew the light (righteous in his own self-righteousness)--is plunged into blinding darkness that he might have his spiritual eyes opened to the Truth.  He receives his sight back three days later--a changed man, with God's Light in his heart, the revelation that Jesus died to give him God's own righteousness.

How fantastic that God seeks to reveal Himself to us personally, wanting so much for us to 'see' His heart, His invitation, the complete deliverance from darkness that He's provided through Jesus.  I love these words in I Peter 2:9-10:

"But you are a chosen generation,

a royal priesthood, a holy nation,

His own special people,

that you may proclaim the praises of Him 

who called you out of darkness

into His marvelous light;

who once were not a people

but are now a people of God,

who had not obtained mercy

but now have obtained mercy."

Marvelous light.  What an invitation!  

Jesus, Our Light - Day 9

Interestingly, my study today 'happened' to coincide with the Jewish celebration of Hanukkah, which is also called the Festival of Lights. This story is from the extra-Biblical Book of Maccabees in the Apocrypha.  Though an entirely Jewish holiday, we see some wonderful symbolism in it that speaks of Jesus, our Light.

In the years before 165 B.C., the Jewish nation had been under the rule of the Greeks.  A pagan king named Antiochus Ephiphanes had defiled the Temple and forced the Jews to abandon their faith.  But a brave group of young men under the leadership of Judah Maccabee revolted and successfully overthrew the pagan rule. Judah headed up the work of cleansing the Temple and rededicating it in 165 B.C.

But when they restored the temple service, they found they only had enough holy oil to burn for one day, the rest of it having been defiled by the Greek invaders. This oil was a symbol of the eternal Presence of God, the Light of the World, and had been commanded by Him to never go out (Exodus 27:20-21).  It would take a week to prepare and consecrate more oil.  By faith they went ahead and lit the flame, and God miraculously kept it burning for eight days until more oil was prepared. Thus, the miracle of Hanukkah, which the Jews have celebrated ever since.  It's interesting to note that Jesus Himself was present in the Temple on this day; the account is in John 10:22-23.

The beautiful picture above is the menorah, the lampstand in the Tabernacle where the holy oil was burned.  It was made of pure gold and was the only light in the holy place.  What a picture of the promised Messiah!  Matthew speaks of Jesus as that fulfillment, referring to the prophecy in Isaiah 7:14:

"'Behold, the virgin shall be with child, and bear a Son,

and they shall call His name Immanuel', which is translated,

'God with us'."

(Matthew 1:23)

Hear Jesus' words again about Himself:

"Walk while you have the light, lest darkness overtake you;

he who walks in darkness does not know where he is going.

While you have the light, believe in the light,

that you may become sons of light...

I have come as a light into the world,

that whoever believes in Me

should not abide in darkness."

(John 12:35-36, 46)

Jesus is the Light of the World!

Jesus, Our Light - Day 8

We have seen what the prophets said about the Light that was to come, and we've seen what Jesus' followers had to say.  Later, Jesus Himself boldly declared that He was the Light.  He not only revealed what darkness looked like in the human heart, but showed the power of His Light to transform it.

In the familiar story of the woman caught in adultery (John 8), we see Jesus' forgiveness and mercy to a sinner.  This was played out against the iron-clad, law-enforcing Pharisees who would stone her on the spot.  But after Jesus granted her forgiveness, He turned and spoke to the Pharisees:

"I am the light of the world.

He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness,

but have the light of life."

(John 8:12)

An interesting wrap-up to that drama. Implication? Their merciless self-righteousness actually came from darkness.  Jesus was showing the heart of the Father--His deep desire to bring His loved ones back to Life.  Mercy, grace, second chances. The path back is Jesus.

He says it again in John chapter 9, where we see Him healing a man born blind--another beautiful picture of God's illumination of human darkness and misery.  This poor man had literally only ever known 'darkness' and was gloriously healed. Jesus explains to His disciples:

"I must work the works of Him who sent me ...
As long as I am in the world, I am the light of the world."

(John 9:5)

One small detail, though--Jesus had healed on the Sabbath.  An unforgivable offense in the eyes of the Pharisees.  Instead of glorifying God for His mercy to the blind man, they create a furor trying to trick the healed man into condemning Jesus.  Their unbelief and hard hearts made them blind to God's mercy, the "peace, goodwill toward men" sung by the angels the night Jesus was born.

The Father's mercy to us is Jesus. Thank You for opening our eyes, dear Lord, and for setting us free to walk in Your Light!

Jesus, Our Light - Day 7

It's the start of a new week and the second half of my 'take' on the twelve days of Christmas...hope these reflections bless you as much as they have blessed me! The study in the Word has been wonderful.

The apostle John seems eager to communicate to his readers in his New Testament writings this whole idea of Jesus=Light=Life.  In his gospel, he starts right out in chapter 1:

"In Him was life, and the life was the light of men,

and the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it...

This man came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light,

that all through him might believe."

(John 1:4-5, 7)

Again, in his first letter, he starts right out:

"This is the message which we have heard from Him and declare to you,

that God is light and in Him is no darkness at all."

(I John 1:5)

"Darkness" here in the Greek is the word scotia, which means gloom, evil, sin, night, moral depravity.  It also has the implication of everything that came to us from the fall of man--enmity with God, our sinful nature, and every kind of demonic work in mankind.  All the trouble in our lives is some manifestation of the curse of darkness at work in the world.

I remember as a child pondering once on the curious circumstance of 'waking up' born into the world, not having had any say about when or where I would live, which family I would belong to, etc.  It struck me how unbelievably fortunate we were to have discovered that our Maker was benevolent, that the universe ran by His love, that we didn't find ourselves the victims of some cruel experiment of a malevolent god.

Then, when I discovered that this terrible thing called 'the fall' and sin had happened to us, and that the good God had already taken care of it by the time I arrived on the scene through Jesus--well, I knew I wanted to belong to Him.  If it took that kind of a price to fix me and the world, I could never honor Him enough, thank Him enough.

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above,

and comes down from the Father of lights,

with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning."

(James 1:17)

Thank You, Father!  Thank You, Jesus!

Jesus, Our Light - Day 6

It's interesting to see how God used light to reveal Jesus when He was born--by a star.

The wise men who came from somewhere in the east had an understanding that this unusual Star meant that the King of the Jews had been born (Matthew 2:1-11).  In obedience to that revelation (prepared hearts!), they kept at their quest to find this baby King until that same star actually led them to the very spot. I love how God uses the symbolism of darkness and light here--stars don't shine during the day.  It was in the darkness that the wise men found Jesus.

Centuries before, a prophet named Balaam had actually called the coming Messiah a Star:

"I see Him, but not now;

I behold Him, but not near;

A Star shall come out of Jacob;

A Scepter shall rise out Israel...

Out of Jacob One shall have dominion."

(Numbers 24:17, 19)

And the apostle Peter, writing years after Jesus' resurrection, uses the same symbolism to call us to the Light of Christ:

"And so we have the prophetic word confirmed,

which you do well to heed

as a light that shines in a dark place,

until the day dawns and the

morning star rises in your hearts..."

(II Peter 1:19)